What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Can I know a love story of a medical student?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Yes sir it is.

{RING} {RING}

Why do guys look up TikTok girls instead of porn? My boyfriend of two years, looks up big boobs on TikTok. He has never once cheated on me, not on social media or IRL. He claims it’s to “get off real quick if I’m not home.”

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

How conservative the Japanese people really is? And the government?

Sure no problem officer.

HELLO

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

When was the first time you felt discriminated against because you were female?

After a few moments he returns.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

How far back into your childhood can your remember and what is your favorite memory of that time?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.